I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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