I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
