i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
