____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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