that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
