Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
