haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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