OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
