remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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