um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
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