Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
