He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
