Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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