He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
