all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
