i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
