the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
