At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize