Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
