And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
