I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Is Oprah even human
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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