a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
