After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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