Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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