Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
