I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
