Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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