when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
