ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
