The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
