but the lizard people decide everything anyway
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
