It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
