His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
