1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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