Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
