What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
