THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
