just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I have aggressive nipples.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
