I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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