Someone shit on the floor
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
