If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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