so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
we're so committed to being not committed
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