so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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