i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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