Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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