This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
