he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
