Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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