I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
