And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
