I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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