how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
